):

Everything is so fucked up now la. Exams gonna be over soon. Monday left Physics and Chem paper 1. After exams still have to worry about results. Fuck this shit.

Sorry I'm just so ^$@*$^@*$^)(!&#%$$ now ._.

I dont know what to do now lah okay... I screwed so much things up. Specifically, I screwed so many relationships I have with people. Its like, I don't even know what I did wrong and some people stopped talking to me. ): And they're the ones who mean the MOST to me. FUCK. THIS. SHIT. Can I just run away and never come back?! Omg i really fucked alot of things up.. I wanna throw my phone away. Fuck technology. I need someone whom i trust to tell me what to do. You. But where are you? Even you left me in my darkest hour. I miss you so badly. I'm not lying. ): Okay I seriously need to sort my feelings out. BUT FUCK IT, CAN YOU TELL ME WHY ARE YOU DOING YOUR BEST TO AVOID ME? ): ):

AND YOU, WHY ARE YOU SO NICE TO ME? I FEEL SO FUCKING GUILTY...

SOMEONE, JUST KILL ME NOW.

I know you might think I'm exaggerating. But this is my blog. I can post whatever i like. You think I'm AA? Okay can. But you'll never know how I feel. Just like how nobody will ever understand how YOU (anybody reading this) are feeling. It's killing me. I'm a bitch. I go around hurting people when they start getting close to me. I'm selfish. Be careful, don't let me close enough to hurt you. You know, i really suck at rejecting people. I really hate it when all the guys come and talk to me and then I'll think of you. But i doubt you'll even care or feel jealous or anything right? Yeah shame on me, I still can't get over you. And because of that, I'm hurting another guy's feelings. But if you ever read this, I know you're gonna even distance more from me now. You think I'll feel better? Fuck no. I'll feel as miserable as you are. I know you're dying inside too. Or maybe you're in love with someone else? Heard you settled down? And that you're happy without me. I really hope you're not in love with someone else. I'm selfish, I want you all by myself. But you don't want me anymore. And I don't know why. I knew it was too good to be true. Why would someone as perfect as you fall for someone like me? I'm not pretty, not skinny enough, not perfect. You, on the other hand, is different. Which is why I know you'll leave me someday. But I know you're insecure too. You're afraid of getting hurt and afraid of hurting me. But why are you doing this to us? You never even give yourself a chance. Haha I don't even know why I like you so much. Even though we don't talk anymore, there isnt a day that I won't think of you. I really hope you'll talk to me again. Though I know it's impossible. You probably hate me to the core now. Just so you know, I still love you. If I could, I would drink a love-forgetting potion. But such thing don't exist and I can't control these feelings, can I? I can't probably tell my heart to stop loving you. It isn't that easy you know? You make me fall for you so deep and now you want me to forget you. Why are you doing this to me? ): You make me so crazy and so confused. Your actions are always unpredictable. To the extent that you make me do stupid things like cut myself. And now everytime I look at my hand I'll get reminded of you. It sucks that I can only see you post statues on Facebook and tweet on Twitter but I can never get to hear your voice or see your face again. I want to rewind the time so badly. Now I can't even love someone else because you're still in my heart. I don't want to forget you. I am still hanging on to that last glimmer of hope.